Myers Depot Metal Detectors

ENDED Best pun wins a BARBER Quarter;Ends Friday, February 26th at 8:00 CST

A meteorologist was walking with a stack of reports on historical weather patterns in his town when a huge gust of wind blew the papers out of his hands and into the top of a tree. Unfortunately, the lowest limb was just beyond his reach, so he couldn't climate.
 
Puns

Several friends were sitting around the table, one of them would point out and object and the you had to come up with a pun for it.. finally someone point to a coffee cup on the table and I answered... I can't, I don't have any grounds
 
A group of astronauts threw a party, during which their space shuttle was accidentally launched. When asked the next day how the party was, one of them replied, "Oh, it was a blast." :lol:

Ok, I just realized that the above joke, while a pun, is not really homophonic so I'm not sure if it meets the rules? If it doesn't, here's another for us metal detectorists:

A miner was asked what metal he preferred to find: silver or gold. The miner thought about it for a second, shrugged, and replied: "either ore."

Both of these are original jokes btw. I didn't copy them from anywhere. More to come in the next few days. I wish I had discovered this contest sooner. :(
 
I love to grill meat, but last weekend I was all set to go and the wife comes home from the store with some bad news.
Somewhere between the grocery and our house she managed to lose a whole pack of rib eyes.
I asked her how she did this and she said it was all a miss steak.
 
Two Caskets in a funeral home, one says to the other...Hey is that you Coffin over there?
 
Peter Pan was hauling his dripping wet Minelab Excalibur II along with his scuba gear onto the deck of the boat along with his usual finds of gold bars. Tinkerbell asked to reveal his secret of continually finding tons of gold. Peter Pan refused. Tinkerbell pleaded for just a single solitary hint as to where to look for the horde... Pan quietly replied "Never land".
 
Real story...

I keep my MD stuff in the front seat of my car. I was taking my oldest to swim practice and she tried to get into the front seat. She sees all my MD stuff and gives me that look. You know the look. I said sorry dear, you're going to have to take a back seat to my hobby. Did I feel bad? A little.

BCD
 
mushroom walks into a bar, bartender replies "we dont serve mushrooms" mushroom replies "why not?, im a fungi"
 
What a hoot! Crying of laughter and disgust!:laughing:

Ok,Ok...lemme think...hmm...lets start out simple...

Guy walks into a bar looking sad, Barmaid says, "Whats the matter with you?"

Guy says "I'm just a meloncholy person,"...

Barmaid pulls up her top and says, "Melon Golly? How about 'dis Pair!"
Mud
 
Two officers, one American and one Soviet, we're discussing the weather. Rudolph, the Soviet, stated that he could tell from the looks of the clouds that it was going to rain. Sam, the American, thought that it was more likely to snow. They began to argue about it, but then big raindrops began to fall from the sky. Sam's wife, who had observed the whole exchange said "See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."
 
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