Big Boys Hobbies

ENDED Funniest joke wins a Merc;Ends Friday, March 11th at 7:00 PM CST

Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."
Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"
Doctor: "Nine."
 
A man goes to the doctor to have some test run, a few days later the doctor calls him. The doctor tells him he has good news and bad news. The man tells him to give him the good news first, the doctor tells him you have 24 hours to live. The man say 24 hours what was the bad news. The doctor says I was suppose to call you yesterday.
 
- Come on, sweetheart, don't speak like that, you surely don't hate me!
- Let me tell you this - if I had a gun with two bullets, and were in a room with you, Hitler and Osama bin Laden, I would shoot you twice.
 
blonde joke:

A blonde walks into a library and and says out loud " I'll have a cheeseburger, a large fry, and a Pepsi."
The librarian approaches the blonde and says in a low voice-- "Ma'am, this is a library."
The blonde looks around, :?: then whispers " I'll have a cheeseburger, a large fry, and a Pepsi.":lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

Tony AZ:cool:
 
My buddy told me this joke a few weeks ago and I about died from laughing, its so dumb its hilarious.
Buddy: Hey did you hear about that actress who got stabbed last night?!?
Me: What?! No, who was it?
Buddy: Uh that one who was in Legally Blond? Reese something...?
Me: Witherspoon?
Buddy: No, it was with a knife!
:laughing::p
 
Did you hear about the blond coyote that was caught in a trap? It chewed off three feet, and was still caught.
 
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much." The driver replied, "Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver – I’ve been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."
 
Okay, gotta steal Rammjager's funny story idea. Count it or don't Matt but I was joking with the kidS.

I was metal detecting in a lake about waist deep in the middle of the day, people all around.

Two boys left their mother's side to wade thru the water up to me and ask what I was doing.

I told them I was looking for the drain plug to the lake.

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMYYYYYY!!!!!
 
The_teacher said:
Okay, gotta steal Rammjager's funny story idea. Count it or don't Matt but I was joking with the kidS.

I was metal detecting in a lake about waist deep in the middle of the day, people all around.

Two boys left their mother's side to wade thru the water up to me and ask what I was doing.

I told them I was looking for the drain plug to the lake.

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMYYYYYY!!!!![/QUOTE

:laughing::aok:
Click to expand...
 
I was driving down the highway one day and noticed a trucker who had wedged his trailer up underneath an overpass. The trucker and I were standing on the side of the road talking when the highway patrol pulled up. He gets out, looks at the guys rig, then at the trucker, and I'm thinking "oh, dear lord he cant say it, because I can't hold back if he does."

Sure enough, the trooper asks "you get your truck stuck?" And God Bless this trucker for not missing a beat he says "nope, just delivering that overpass and I ran outta gas."
 
I got a couple more....
Your momma so old she knew Burger King when he was still a prince!
Your momma so ugly even Hello Kitty says goodbye!
 
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