Fancy Feast Tuna on toast!...With a little mayo and dill pickles and sliced olives? Yum! Yum!... I'm saving myself a fortune on the canned Starkist markup!!
The Wife has commented on my creative cooking......"Damn! this Tuna dont taste like it used to"?
I responded, "Yeah, I guess its the Fukushima and dolphin safe parameters nowadays..I notice the difference myself...try giving it a squirt of hot sauce from these plastic packets I got for free from the Taco Bell condiment counter" It aint bad then...like some sort of Loosiana Cajun Gumbo half digested alligator crab trap barf"
Cat food is an acquired taste...A guy can live on it though, cats are extremely picky, not at all like a dog! A dog will eat damn near anything! Even the rear end outta a road killed administrating skunk!
If you want really good seafood, you gotta go with the top shelf ramen noodle shrimp packs from the Dollar store, and spruce it up by stopping by the bait store on the way home, and pick up the dead minnows for a sparkling garnish!..Quick stoop and grab a handful of dandelion leaves outta the yard on your way in, and its like Top shelf Tokyo $150 per plate!!
Oh, and the free Hot sauce packets from the Taco Bell condiment tray..and the free napkins, maybe if you are feeling really creative, stop by the Arbys for some free packets of Horsey Sauce? Grab another riff of napkins there too.... you will need them...
That one year, the Wife said, "This Butterball turkey you picked up for Thanksgiving dont taste like it used to" I'm like, "I agree!! Just like the Man has been fooling us with the Fukushima Tuna! Or it could be some stank from this new microwave oven I picked up from the curbside goodwill?"
.."Maybe its the Monsanto GMO string beans"? "Hit it with a squirt from this plastic pack of Guldens Mustard I got from Culvers condiment tray!
You never want to be eating dog food! As much as I like and appreciate dogs, they just have no sense of palate or gastronomical balance sensitivities...dogs are like Waffle House clientele, they like gobbling up no telling what as long as its 'slathered covered and smothered'..'Hot fast and cheap!'..
Cats are more like the Sunday Morning after church Cracker Barrel folks...dinking around for hours trying to decide what to eat and then making a big deal out of what to order and what colored bib to wear, Leaving about no tip at all...then slowly going through the gift shop for rootbeer sticks and beanie babies...then sitting around on the front porch in a free rocker...thats cats...
I'm a dog thats married to a cat, so I know...
I absolutely love the Waffle House! I walk in and nubile winsome lasses holler out, 'Welcome! Heres a cup of coffee!" Ya know whatcha wanna eat? I'm like, "Hell yeah I do! Gimmee the ass end out of a roadkilled administrating skunk platter, rare, scattered covered and smothered, and a danged old 24 oz gravy to drink ...and slide me over an ashtray when you get the chance Darling!!!
I dont get this kind of royal treatment at home! Its all like, "This hamburger dont taste like it should", and things like this...