The Cracker Barrel 'BLT salad' is a good fast one for both accellerant and base combined...its got eggs and bacon in it!...A half sack of Granny Smith apples or green grapes on top of a BK Whopper w/extra onions are tough to beat for a good cheap 'Dutch Oven' treat though....Both have immense staying power, pretty much unfannible..must be the pectin? Anyway, it lingers and bow echos around the room at a Torcon Level 5 for days...
FWIW, my Beloved of 38yrs keeps a spritzer jar of Fabreeze on the nightstand, in her purse, and in the car as well...Ive got some good classics...properly 'Gerber Baby Food' jarred and catalogued from the 70's that will set sheets on fire...I only bring them out on special occasions though...they age well...like fine wine, not to be wasted on unappreciative plebes, a sensitive and appreciative palate for such things is a rare and welcomed guest though....(Here, take a wiff of this one! 1976 vintage!, Chicago Cubbies Stadium Hotdog base!.... Dr Pepper for the accellerant!)
Its a science to get it right, takes a lifetime of trial and error...I discovered you need a heavy accellerant and a solid base to build off of though...that and proper timing for full effect. A voluminous GI tract for storage/fermentation and a sphincter thats up to the task of course...to mete out airesolic colonic nectar in just the right dosages constantly and with volume is not easy!...Plus its dangerous to hold back!
Yeah, any old body can just 'blow and go' a standard Taco Bell submission on an elevator... getting it just right for everyones satisfaction takes tremendous effort and timing! Remember, 'BLT salad and green grapes' for an easy fast and fun longlasting fall back...like when the Inlaws are visiting, or you are being considered for Jury duty!...
Squelching off a perfectly timed blisterer in Church is the best! Balanced with both scent and sound! Ricocheting a tight bubble off the hardwood in a perfectly timed baritone, up to rattle the dust off the rafters, and then having it expand and cascade down its blessing on the entire congregation is priceless!!!
The kids in the Youth group will never forget that one!
Nobody else thinks its funny though...just the youthgroup kids?....Looking innocent and serious takes some practice too...just comes with the territory and a bit of practice..then the damn Wife whips out the Fabreeze bottle out of reflex and blows my cover!
And I'm like 'Really?" After 38yrs? Sitting there all innocent and prayerful? ..How am I ever going to make Deacon? You were the one that wanted to stop at the damned Cracker Barrel!
Mud