A Tough Question About A Newbie

Martin_V3i · Oct 9, 2019

What do you tell a lifelong friend, who I got into MDing a while back, who has the attitude that every hunt we had before, that all the next hunts need to be somewhere else, a place we have never been before?

I tried explaining that the past spots I took him to hunt, and where we only stayed for a couple of hours or so tops...was not really hunted by us yet.

Thing is, I think he considers waving a coil erratically and not a focus of "painting the ground"...means we hunted it out.

How do you explain to a lifelong friend that these new places he wants every next hunt, is foolish thinking?

I have tried my best to be gentle about us not saturating the ground with our coils, over a 1-3 acre park or less, but he just doesn't quit wanting to go to a new place, every next hunt.

It is getting to be a friction point, and with a solid friend of 35 years.

SoOregonMd · Oct 9, 2019

Martin_V3i said:
What do you tell a lifelong friend, who I got into MDing a while back, who has the attitude that every hunt we had before, that all the next hunts need to be somewhere else, a place we have never been before?

I tried explaining that the past spots I took him to hunt, and where we only stayed for a couple of hours or so tops...was not really hunted by us yet.

Thing is, I think he considers waving a coil erratically and not a focus of "painting the ground"...means we hunted it out.

How do you explain to a lifelong friend that these new places he wants every next hunt, is foolish thinking?

I have tried my best to be gentle about us not saturating the ground with our coils, over a 1-3 acre park or less, but he just doesn't quit wanting to go to a new place, every next hunt.

It is getting to be a friction point, and with a solid friend of 35 years.

I can see both sides of the equation.. You want to put in the time and he wants an adventure.. Perhaps you hit the areas YOU want to revisit when you are hunting alone and try out new spots when you hunt with him..

DO TELL HIM about your finds at the times you went out alone and throw in there.. "See it is never really hunted out" .. but tactfully

Life long friends are hard to come by so bend a little and highly suggest that hey "remember that park over here.. I have a feeling about it"

god luck !

KOB · Oct 9, 2019

Look at some of my older posts regarding a couple of friends. My advice would be to just tell him to go hunt solo on some new parks that HE finds. Let's see if he finds stuff and calls you in. Let's see what kind of friend you really have....

ToySoldier · Oct 9, 2019

There's a difference between being available to be somebody's hunting buddy versus being part of a hunting committee or partnership. It sounds like you have a strong preference for where you want to hunt. So, decide where you want to hunt and if you have a buddy that wants to come with you, then great. Otherwise, maybe next time.

---
Him: You want to metal detect this weekend?
You: Sure. I'm going out to Ye Old Pounded Park.
Him: I'd rather try out Greener Grass Park this time.
You: Cool. Send me a text if you find anything. Maybe I'll try it out sometime.
Him: You're not going with me?
You: There's this spot at Ye Old Pounded Park I'd like to cover again with some different settings. You're welcome to come with me if you change your mind.
Him: Oh, ok.
You: Want to watch the game later?
etc....
----

If he gives you any grief, then he's not much of a friend.

As the kids say these days: You do you.

Scooterjim · Oct 9, 2019

You could suggest that you take turns choosing the destination.

He could be on another forum talking about his buddy always wanting to go to the same old spot and how foolish that is.
I can see his point, I get bored gridding an area and normally end up wandering aimlessly from tree to bench to tree to swingset and then to the water fountain. If I don't have some good finds in an hour or 2 I'm done with the park

Martin_V3i · Oct 9, 2019

SoOregonMd said:
I can see both sides of the equation.. You want to put in the time and he wants an adventure.. Perhaps you hit the areas YOU want to revisit when you are hunting alone and try out new spots when you hunt with him..

DO TELL HIM about your finds at the times you went out alone and throw in there.. "See it is never really hunted out" .. but tactfully

Life long friends are hard to come by so bend a little and highly suggest that hey "remember that park over here.. I have a feeling about it"

god luck !

I talked about and showed my finds long before I talked him into even trying the hobby. Honestly, he has not even detected but few times himself, over nearly 2 years. Each time, it ends the same way. Wants to go to a new place, we had never gone to before.

It is that simple. Hard question to grasp, I guess.

FreeBirdTim · Oct 9, 2019

Fishing and metal detecting require the same thing, patience. When I first started fishing in the 1980's, I'd go with my brother. If a spot didn't produce within an hour, I'd start whining and wanted to go somewhere else. Drove my brother crazy, but I eventually developed patience fishing and we had a lot of fun over the years.

I think this is the problem with your friend. He needs to put in some serious hours to develop a sense of patience while detecting. He gives up on a spot too quickly and wants to move on to the next because he's impatient and wants fast results. Your best bet is to encourage him to detect alone when he can and he'll eventually learn to be patient detecting. Just my two cents...

Surf Master · Oct 9, 2019

Martin

I would have no problem with it, tell him to seek permission for both of you to hunt, and go find some prime time hunting spots , once he gets them have fun, O stress on you :lol:

, put the shoes on his feet , if they don't fit , he will be satisfied to stay put :cool3:

Skippy SH13 · Oct 10, 2019

Tell him it's like mowing a lawn. If he runs around with the lawnmower, willy nilly, the lawn doesn't actually get cut well. There's going to be bare spots.

Gridding seems like it "takes more time" but in reality, you're far more efficient this way, unless the substrate is changing between the times you go out (like at the beach).

Skippy

Soil Surgeon · Oct 10, 2019

ToySoldier said:
There's a difference between being available to be somebody's hunting buddy versus being part of a hunting committee or partnership. It sounds like you have a strong preference for where you want to hunt. So, decide where you want to hunt and if you have a buddy that wants to come with you, then great. Otherwise, maybe next time.

---
Him: You want to metal detect this weekend?
You: Sure. I'm going out to Ye Old Pounded Park.
Him: I'd rather try out Greener Grass Park this time.
You: Cool. Send me a text if you find anything. Maybe I'll try it out sometime.
Him: You're not going with me?
You: There's this spot at Ye Old Pounded Park I'd like to cover again with some different settings. You're welcome to come with me if you change your mind.
Him: Oh, ok.
You: Want to watch the game later?
etc....
----

If he gives you any grief, then he's not much of a friend.

As the kids say these days: You do you.

Well said Toy Soldier !

jmaryt · Oct 10, 2019

Martin_V3i said:
What do you tell a lifelong friend, who I got into MDing a while back, who has the attitude that every hunt we had before, that all the next hunts need to be somewhere else, a place we have never been before?

I tried explaining that the past spots I took him to hunt, and where we only stayed for a couple of hours or so tops...was not really hunted by us yet.

Thing is, I think he considers waving a coil erratically and not a focus of "painting the ground"...means we hunted it out.

How do you explain to a lifelong friend that these new places he wants every next hunt, is foolish thinking?

I have tried my best to be gentle about us not saturating the ground with our coils, over a 1-3 acre park or less, but he just doesn't quit wanting to go to a new place, every next hunt.

It is getting to be a friction point, and with a solid friend of 35 years.

believe it or not this was common thinking 25 to 30 years ago because everything was "wide open" for the taking!..if a site started to "slow down",so to speak, in finds, then guys would just pack up and hit the next park down the street, and the fun would begin again!..those days are "long gone",and now we must "stay in place",and be super patient to try to get our coils over "anything" good sooo yeah! your friend has a 1980's mind set, and needs you to help him change that!
i'm just sayin'

(h.h.!)
j.t.

IDXMonster · Oct 10, 2019

All good replies to the dilemma Martin. Here’s what I have personally experienced...
I have hunted many areas within a 25 mile radius of my house very heavily. Most of these places have produced, some very well, because we happen to have better tech these days. In order to get even MORE, there had to be that mentality of “next level” hunting. Meaning....learning what it takes to get deeper or more masked coins. As Tim said...PATIENCE! I like to hunt a hard site for the challenge of finding just one more...but some people don’t have that mindset, nor will they develop it....it’s not who they are. A lifelong friend can be just that, but investigating hammered places just isn’t going to be one of those things you share.
The BEST way to get him on board with re-visiting these places is to SHOW him that targets are there. This requires YOU to prove to him that they still exist. If you can do that, at least he can see for himself firsthand that these sites ARE worth another look. Even if you travel, there’s no guarantee any place you hit is going to be any better than what you already have in your area, and you both have to figure out what makes you tick. In this situation, it simply might not be the same thing, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
A lot of times, TIME doesn’t allow me to travel, so I’m relegated to hunting local. It’s certainly better than not hunting at all, but that’s MPO.

GKL · Oct 10, 2019

Martin_V3i said:
What do you tell a lifelong friend, who I got into MDing a while back, who has the attitude that every hunt we had before, that all the next hunts need to be somewhere else, a place we have never been before?

I tried explaining that the past spots I took him to hunt, and where we only stayed for a couple of hours or so tops...was not really hunted by us yet.

Thing is, I think he considers waving a coil erratically and not a focus of "painting the ground"...means we hunted it out.

How do you explain to a lifelong friend that these new places he wants every next hunt, is foolish thinking?

I have tried my best to be gentle about us not saturating the ground with our coils, over a 1-3 acre park or less, but he just doesn't quit wanting to go to a new place, every next hunt.

It is getting to be a friction point, and with a solid friend of 35 years.

Others have already given various ideas, I just want to say that having a solid friend has priority over having a hunting buddy, as nice as it would be for him to be both, if it would risk your friendship to try to change his detecting mindset I would simply tell him:

"I value your friendship more than having a hunting buddy so since we seem to have different views on where to detect, if you don't wish to join me at my hunting location, no hard feelings, we can get together later and watch a football game."

Finding a new good friend somehow does not seem as easy as it used to be, so don't risk losing any you currently have.

diggin4clad · Oct 10, 2019

There's an old saying...……"No good deed shall go unpunished". You introduced him to the hobby but now it's causing friction within a friendship. Your dilemma is.....do I suffer the fate of hunting a way I don't want to (new place every week) to keep the friendship going or do I do as I want and risk losing a friend?
Seems as if some type of "happy medium" is the answer, but if not I think your own peace of mind is what's important.

Mud-puppy · Oct 10, 2019

Enjoy your time outdoors with your Lifelong Friend!..Take him to a new spot every weekend, even if its a modern park or some vacant farm field! ..Salt it with wheaties, buff nicks, some slick barber and merc dimes before hand..enjoy the wonderment when he makes those finds, and yells WooWoo!...

It will only cost you a couple of bucks to make somebody else have a great day out hunting with you..Hell, throw in a Walker Half every now and then, a few buttons, all sorts of old metalcrap you have in jars laying around.....A lifetime Friend is worth more than silver or gold..Make his time with you good Memories..Hunt by yourself for your dirt therapy, and set up a location to bring your buddy to..place his 'future finds' in likely spots.....

KOB · Oct 10, 2019

Mud-puppy said:
Enjoy your time outdoors with your Lifelong Friend!..Take him to a new spot every weekend, even if its a modern park or some vacant farm field! ..Salt it with wheaties, buff nicks, some slick barber and merc dimes before hand..enjoy the wonderment when he makes those finds, and yells WooWoo!...

It will only cost you a couple of bucks to make somebody else have a great day out hunting with you..Hell, throw in a Walker Half every now and then, a few buttons, all sorts of old metalcrap you have in jars laying around.....A lifetime Friend is worth more than silver or gold..Make his time with you good Memories..Hunt by yourself for your dirt therapy, and set up a location to bring your buddy to..place his 'future finds' in likely spots.....

Might as well toss a double eagle out there while you're at it. He deserves it after 35 years

A Tough Question About A Newbie

Martin_V3i

Elite Member

SoOregonMd

Elite Member

KOB

ToySoldier

Scooterjim

Elite Member

Martin_V3i

Elite Member

FreeBirdTim

Elite Member

Surf Master

Skippy SH13

Soil Surgeon

jmaryt

Elite Member

IDXMonster

Elite Member

GKL

diggin4clad

Elite Member

Mud-puppy

KOB

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