Big Boys Hobbies

First time feeling bad while detecting

T

Tuckerjr

New Member
Joined
Apr 12, 2022
Messages
22
I had an incident while detecting the other day and it has bothered me ever since.

I went to a local tot lot to metal detect, it was vacant but there was a family having a picnic at one of the nearby shelters. I walked by and wave to them on my way to the playground and they waved back.

After about 10 mins or so, I was going along the path at the edge of the lot when three little boys that were with the family at the shelter came up and asked what I was doing, they couldn't have been older than 5 or 6. Not wanting to be rude, and also because I don't mind when anyone comes up and shows interest in detecting, I explained to them that I was hunting for lost coins and jewelry.

One of the kids said, "there aren't any coins here". He wasn't trying to be a smart butt, it's just they way kids minds work sometimes, and they say what they think. I said "sure there are", as I pulled a dime from the mulch, and held it up to show them.

Then a guy comes up, I'm assuming their dad, and said "boys, get away from him, what have I told you about talking to strangers, that is how kids get taken". Of course, the boys ran off, I stood up and said that they weren't bothering me. He didn't reply, didn't even look at me, and stomped off.

I get it, I have kids and grandkids now, and I don't want them talking to strangers either. I was a little disheartened, was this the vibe I'm giving off? I should have walked over and introduced myself, and told the parents that I didn't mean to get the kids in trouble by talking to them, I just didn't want to ignore them, but I didn't. I did not want to get into a confrontation if he was just having a bad day or something. I was now agitated myself, and couldn't concentrate on what I was doing.

I have never had this happen before, usually, people are curious and will come up and ask questions. I just felt bad after this encounter.

Have any of you had anything similar happen and how did you handle it?
 
Who cares? I'd be thankful for him getting the rugrats out of my way. If I wanted that kind of nuisance I'd bring my kid with me, which I sometimes do..
 
IMO pretty extreme behavior by the dad, rude even - I have had kids come up to me while detecting tot-lots before I could escape, and their moms have all been nice and even apologetic. I wouldn't take it too much to heart, other than maybe planning on doing tot-lots at 6am or so, when people aren't around, solves a lot of potential issues perhaps.

There are all kinds of people, and I don't know if it's all going downhill quality-wise but sometimes I think so.

I would just let it roll off and keep on keepin' on.
 
Times are tough right now and some folks have been through a lot of different things in their life. Take it with a grain salt and let it go. I was once told by a child in a tot lot that I would have to pay her in order to hunt in her tot lot. She was stone cold serious. I smiled at her and kept moving along. Although I will never forget that young child trying to extort money from me, you got to let it go.
 
Yep I've had it happen a few times actually, usually on my lunch breaks when I'm dressed in my work clothes and all dirty from work (Steel Shop). I don't let it bother me, some people just don't understand that not everyone is a bad person, and they are just being "over protective" which nowadays you really do need to be vigilant with your children. Usually when someone is talking to my kids I just come up and join the conversation. If the person had any ill intentions I would say they would be deterred by dad standing there. I say don't sweat it! If you know you're a good person then that's all you need! Happy Hunting
 
C&SDiggers said:
Yep I've had it happen a few times actually, usually on my lunch breaks when I'm dressed in my work clothes and all dirty from work (Steel Shop). I don't let it bother me, some people just don't understand that not everyone is a bad person, and they are just being "over protective" which nowadays you really do need to be vigilant with your children. Usually when someone is talking to my kids I just come up and join the conversation. If the person had any ill intentions I would say they would be deterred by dad standing there. I say don't sweat it! If you know you're a good person then that's all you need! Happy Hunting
Click to expand...

This right here too. That is what I would do. And also true on the vigilance. My kids are 12/14, so entering into a whole new realm of vigilance....
 
Never had that happen, but don't beat yourself up, you did nothing wrong.

On the positive side just be thankful he wants his kids to err on the side of caution and be extra careful, now that does not excuse his rude behavior in not responding to you, he obviously should have seen you were merely metal detecting, but like you said, he might had been having a bad day so it might had been wise not to persue it further at that time, though I might had mentioned to him you were simply metal detecting.

If kids approach and ask questions in the future, you might caution them yourself and say even though you yourself are not a threat, that they might want to be careful about talking to strangers by themselves. If you do see their parents in the distance I might immediately walk over to them and tell them you were metal detecting and their kids wanted to ask some questions.
 
Totlots , when kids and families are there it's theirs, when their gone, it's mine. I detect for pleasure and solitude not to interact with strangers and their personalities .
 
I've detected a lot of tot lots this Summer due to the extreme heat/drought situation here in Iowa. I won't actively detect if kids are actively playing in the tot lot, instead, I'll hunt around the edges. Sometimes kids/parents/grandparents will arrive before I can actively move off the tot lot or kids will leave the tot lot out of curiosity to come over and see what I'm doing. I've yet to have an experience like yours and find that about 90% of adults are either curious as to my results as well or just simply don't care.

Funny though, for the most part you can tell which kids have been raised right. They are the ones with manners and genuinely curious, as opposed to the ones who ask for the money the moment they see it come out of the hole or attempt to grab your detector while it's on the ground and your digging without asking permission. The latter ones, without manners, for the most part seem to be the exception to the rule as well.
 
Soil Surgeon said:
Totlots , when kids and families are there it's theirs, when their gone, it's mine. I detect for pleasure and solitude not to interact with strangers and their personalities .
Click to expand...

Agreed.

The first and only time I hunted tot lots, I had a list, but skipped over the lots that had kids and/or families in it.

On a similar note, the last thing I would want when metal detecting is a "detecting buddy". Part of the reason I metal detect is to get away from people :D
 
Tuckerjr said:
I had an incident while detecting the other day and it has bothered me ever since.

I went to a local tot lot to metal detect, it was vacant but there was a family having a picnic at one of the nearby shelters. I walked by and wave to them on my way to the playground and they waved back.
Click to expand...

Absolutely agree that we should only hunt totlots when they are vacant. (if kids come towards the totlot after you start detecting I would immediately leave)

I reread the OP and noticed that the OP did say the totlot was vacant when he went there.

I also noticed that he had waved to them and they waved back, so that makes it puzzling why that man acted the way he did in not responding to the OP later, you would think if that man had such an attitude that they would not have waved back in the beginning. :?:
 
I'm surprised how some parents let their kids follow me around and talk to me but I converse a little with the kids.
Today those kids shouldn't talk to strangers though.
I wouldn't let your situation bother you.
Just keep detecting😄👍
 
Tuckerjr said:
.....

Have any of you had anything similar happen and how did you handle it?
Click to expand...

Yes, I feel sorry for those kids too. It is blatantly obvious that you weren't some weirdo. And those kids are being trained to distrust anyone and everyone (ie.: assume everyone is a boogeyman, blah blah).

I had something similar happen once : I was detecting on the beach, passing not too far away from a lady who had a little girl there (5-ish yr. old ?) The curiosity must have gotten the better of the little girl, because she took a few steps my way, and was watching me.

At that exact moment, I got a beep and dug up a penny. I could see it in the basket. So instead of taking it out and putting it in my apron, I extended my long-handled scoop towards the little girl saying "Here honey, here's a penny for you" (to give it to the kid).

But when the mom heard me say something to the little girl, she came unglued. Rushed over, snatched her kid up, and began scolding me. Like "It's inappropriate for grown men to be talking to little girls/children , blah blah".

So I replied saying something like "... she came over and was watching me". To which the lady just screamed louder "How dare you !" blah blah. I guess she thought that makes me a pervert or something ?

I went on my way, ignoring her. But couldn't help but think that that little girl is being raised to hate men. :roll:
 
I find quite a few toy cars and always keep one or two in my bag. When kids come along asking questions I try to contact the parent right away.Then I explain that I just found this car, would your child like to have it? The parent always says yes and the kid is always excited. It's good PR for metal detecting.
 
Well....it probably doesn't help if you look like Pee Wee Herman. Have a few pieces of candy on hand for everybody. It will be ok. Don't stress it.
 
It is so sad that humanity has become paranoid because of all the psychopaths running rogue across the world. My heart goes out to you. <3
 

Attachments

  • HeartsHugging2.jpg
    HeartsHugging2.jpg
    22 KB · Views: 308
Bottom line
__________________________ The old man had a personality of a rock !!!!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Rudy
Magnet Fishing Yields New Evidence
Replies
6
Views
166
mudwhale
mudwhale
maxxkatt
Fun comparison of our members with the members of the Danbury Metal Detecting Club
Replies
5
Views
144
CountyWorker
CountyWorker
GTimberMT
Short story about pull tabs! You never know!!
Replies
0
Views
130
GTimberMT
GTimberMT
60streeter
FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR
Replies
4
Views
113
cellrdwellr
cellrdwellr
C
My new display case
2
Replies
21
Views
294
maxxkatt
maxxkatt
Back
Top Bottom