How Do you Guys Deal?

[TimC]

Hey guys and gals, the gas prices thread got me to thinking about this and I was wondering how you all deal with the balancing act. I love my hobbies which are Metal detecting , Ham Radio and Photography and I am lucky to have a very supportive wife that I will do anything for. With all the high gas prices travel seems limited to work and Boy Scout camp out were the Leave No Trace rule applies. So when I do get the chance to go out and detect I feel guilty that I'm taking time away from the family even though the wife tells me to GO and have a good time because you deserve it for doing so much. The family is everything to me but so is my sanity. I know I need to get over it and spend some time on just me or with a buddy and do something fun like detect, I would get the wife to go but she is a big scrap booker and Scouter as well as is our entire family. So sorry for rambling on and on but I was wondering how y'all so the balancing between guilt (if any), family,work, other activities and time for self.
Any input will be appreciated.

[geodawn]

My wife sounds a lot like yours, in the fact that she is supportive of anything I try to pursue. She did not take any active interest in detecting, although I wish that she had. I do feel guilty for splitting for such long periods to detect but I try to balance that by spending half of my free (detecting) time with her and the kids with their hobbies - most often geocaching.

Find comfort in the fact that your wife is supportive....apparently that's not too common, at least to the other guys here in the office. There was a guy who posted on treasurenet the other day that took a picture of his first "honeydo" list - oh my! Poor guy...I'd rather set my hair on fire.

[Cfmct]

I have no guilt.. I need my hobby to get away from everyday BS.. my wife wants nothing to do with my hobby and thats fine it gives her a chance to see her friends who I want nothing to do with It all evens out somewhat

[stikes]

wow you all have great wives. Its like pulling teeth with my wife to allow me to go mding for an hour or two. with that kind of wife make sure you do not take adavantage of her willingness to let you md. (it sounds as though you dont) my wife is a scrapbookaholic so maybe your wife and mine can get together and we can go detect:!: wishfull thinking anyways happy hunting

[sectshun8]

Well, I think I'm a little younger than most on here... and am not married. But do have a live-in girlfriend of 3 years. My hobbies are long distance target shooting, photography, off-road trucks, video games, and most recently, MDing. More often than not she shows no interest whatsoever in these activities. Yeah, she'll shoot a gun, ride the mountain trails, play a game or two.. or even say hey, that's pretty cool about the stuff I found yesterady MDing... but no active interest. And honestly, I don't mind. That's why I have GUY friends.

[foreverRich]

If your wife says GO, just do it and don't feel guilty. As long as you share your time with the family, I don't see any problem. Sounds like you have a very understanding wife like my own. Fortunately we don't smother each other with our love. While I metal detect, she goes visiting or shopping. We always set down to dinner or I take her out to dinner at the end of the day, and we talk about our day. Just be sure you know that your wife really means GO and is not just saying that to make you happy and resenting it when you take her up on the offer. I know from experience what that is like. My first wife was the kind that told me to GO, but hated it. Found out when SHE went (for good). The second time around I got one who tells it like it is. If she doesn't like something, she says it straight out. It sure works better that way.

[Carol K]

I don't think a lot wives mind... as long as you occasionally plop a gold ring in their hands. (Even if you have to go to a pawn shop)

I think it does a guy/gal good to get out for awhile. I seem to get more accomplished (as far as cleaning) when Vlad's not around. I don't like running the vacuum when he's trying to study.

[steve in so az]

I doubt if many guys detect more than i do in retirement. But my wife of 41 years spends a lot of time as a volunteer at the extension gardens. But almost every minute we are not doing our hobbies we are together. Life is meant to be shared, not dominated. steve in so az

[ScubaDetector]

Well my wife loves the water and she comes with me most of the time. The rest of the time she is working. I have 6 grown daughters out of the house and so my children are not a problem.

I have 2 Fisher CZ-21's and I hope to get her interested this year. We will see!!

[Nor'Easter]

Wife usually gets first dibs on the gold and silver jewelry which I don't mind. Keeps her happy and me MD'ing. Jim

[funnyfarmman]

My family is awesome and pushes me out the door to MD. I am a recovering work-acholic, and they really wanted me to do something that was not focused on making a buck. I did not think they really meant it, but it has now been over a year, and my wife is always telling me I should stop on the way home and MD. I still feel guilty "wasting time" some days, but I have starting turning away chances to make a buck to preserve my MDing time. My wife is my best friend and the time MDing helps me relax and be a better friend to her. She has no desire to MD, but is always asking what other stuff I want for MDing. We have a strange arrangement where we pick a town she wants to ride to on her bike, then I MD along the way. Sometimes I drop her off, sometimes she rides to me (she can ride 40 miles easy so I have a big circle to MD), then we go out to eat or go get ice cream.

cb

[KellyV]

Hey there Tim,

Everyone has to have somthing for themselves or eventually you go crazy. Take the kids, do some research find out where between boyscouts and home if there is a place to detect (save on gas), I am a single female but if the wife approves you have the green light. There are tons of places I never thought of right near my home but I had to do some research to find them. Have the wife come pull up a chair and read a book or help. My boyfriend or mother come with me somtimes they do the digging. ENJOY!
-Kelly

[TimC]

Thanks everyone for the great replies and I don't feel so alone now. I know it is easier said than done not to feel guilty but I can always try. I know I need some self time not to go crazy. I have a wonderful wife and son and I guess I think I owe them all my time. I'm one of those folks that tries to please everyone with no time left for me. However I will put my best foot forward and try. Thanks again!

Tim

[Beefcake]

Originally Posted by Carol K

I don't think a lot wives mind... as long as you occasionally plop a gold ring in their hands. (Even if you have to go to a pawn shop)

I think it does a guy/gal good to get out for awhile. I seem to get more accomplished (as far as cleaning) when Vlad's not around. I don't like running the vacuum when he's trying to study.

???That's why I get to go so often???? lol My wife is pretty good about it. She understands that I pretty much put my life on hold for the last 5 years with college. I should be in the circus as much juggling as I've done... full time college student 50 miles from home, work 35 hours a week, and family time... Sundays are religated to me to do what I want. It's my only day off and I get roughly 3 to 5 hours to myself. It took alot of sapphires and diamonds...lol

[beerdoodle]

Originally Posted by funnyfarmman

My family is awesome and pushes me out the door to MD. I am a recovering work-acholic, and they really wanted me to do something that was not focused on making a buck. I did not think they really meant it, but it has now been over a year, and my wife is always telling me I should stop on the way home and MD. I still feel guilty "wasting time" some days, but I have starting turning away chances to make a buck to preserve my MDing time. My wife is my best friend and the time MDing helps me relax and be a better friend to her. She has no desire to MD, but is always asking what other stuff I want for MDing. We have a strange arrangement where we pick a town she wants to ride to on her bike, then I MD along the way. Sometimes I drop her off, sometimes she rides to me (she can ride 40 miles easy so I have a big circle to MD), then we go out to eat or go get ice cream.

cb

If you can get her to ride 400 miles, you can hunt for 2 days, and lose weight from all the previous ice cream you all ate...................

[DougF]

Interesting thread, but how did it get 2,000 views?

[Cfmct]

It must be a hot thread It was probably the Denial of Service attack we had yesterday..

[funnyfarmman]

Originally Posted by beerdoodle

If you can get her to ride 400 miles, you can hunt for 2 days, and lose weight from all the previous ice cream you all ate...................

Beerdoodle you are a genious! I will try to talk her into that. Of course she weighs less than when we got married 22 years ago, and I weigh almost 60lbs more, maybe she needs to detect and I need to get on the bike.................(sips coffee and takes a bite of chocolate pop tart).........no I'm good.

[joe-in-ohio]

My wife likes for me to go MDing! She must be serious because she has bought me two MDs and a lesche digging tool! and she wants to detect too. She also helps me to look for new places to detect. If she is as good at this as she is at Crappie fishing then I am a lucky Man

[funnyfarmman]

This made me think about this post and I could not control myself. :-)