creeker42
Full Member
a friend just sent me this, made me smile
Ed
RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
>
> >
> > 1. Two times a week we go to a nice
> restaurant, have a little beverage,
> > good food and companionship.
> > She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
> >
> > 2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in
> California, and mine is in
> > Texas .
> > ; ;
> > 3. I take my wife everywhere.... but she
> keeps finding her way back.
> >
> > 4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for
> our anniversary. "Somewhere
> > I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So
> I suggested the kitchen.
> >
> > 5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she
> shops.
> >
> > 6. She has an electric blender, electric
> toaster and electric bread maker.
> > She said "There are too many gadgets, and no
> place to sit down!" So I
> > bought her an electric chair.
> >
> > 7. My wife told me the car wasn't running
> well because there was water in
> > the carburetor. I asked where the car was.
> > She told me "In the lake."
> >
> > 8. She got a mud pack and looked great for
> two days.
> > Then the mud fell off.
> >
> > 9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling,
> "Am I too late for the
> > garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"
> >
> > 10. Remember: Marriage is t he number one
> cause of divorce.
> >
> > 11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know
> her first name was Always.
> >
> > 12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
>
> > I don't like to interrupt her.
> >
> > 13. The last fight was my fault though.
> > My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said,
> "Dust!"
> >
> > Can't you just hear him say all of these? I
> love it........these were the
> > good old days when humor didn't have to start
> with a four letter word. It
> > was just clean and simple fun.
> >
> > And he always ended his programs with the
> words, "God Bless"
Ed
RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
>
> >
> > 1. Two times a week we go to a nice
> restaurant, have a little beverage,
> > good food and companionship.
> > She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
> >
> > 2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in
> California, and mine is in
> > Texas .
> > ; ;
> > 3. I take my wife everywhere.... but she
> keeps finding her way back.
> >
> > 4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for
> our anniversary. "Somewhere
> > I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So
> I suggested the kitchen.
> >
> > 5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she
> shops.
> >
> > 6. She has an electric blender, electric
> toaster and electric bread maker.
> > She said "There are too many gadgets, and no
> place to sit down!" So I
> > bought her an electric chair.
> >
> > 7. My wife told me the car wasn't running
> well because there was water in
> > the carburetor. I asked where the car was.
> > She told me "In the lake."
> >
> > 8. She got a mud pack and looked great for
> two days.
> > Then the mud fell off.
> >
> > 9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling,
> "Am I too late for the
> > garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"
> >
> > 10. Remember: Marriage is t he number one
> cause of divorce.
> >
> > 11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know
> her first name was Always.
> >
> > 12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
>
> > I don't like to interrupt her.
> >
> > 13. The last fight was my fault though.
> > My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said,
> "Dust!"
> >
> > Can't you just hear him say all of these? I
> love it........these were the
> > good old days when humor didn't have to start
> with a four letter word. It
> > was just clean and simple fun.
> >
> > And he always ended his programs with the
> words, "God Bless"
