Big Boys Hobbies

Opinions and help with a problem, please

A

aridice53

Senior Member
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
289
Location
Hartwell, GA
Hi All!!
I'm feeling more comfortable here on the forum and I've run into a problem I'd like your help and advice with. Maybe some of the other women here have had similar experiences.
I'm female, divorced, 55, getting fat and wrinkled, LOL. All I want to do is go MDing once in a while, but, I don't want to go alone.
Last year I posted on another forum for a hunting buddy, and a guy living nearby responded. I told him to talk to his wife and have her come too. He said she was OK with it. We exchanged emails, and the tone started to turn personal, him relating "problems with his marriage" etc. I don't think he evr mentioned it to his wife.Well, I backed away from that situation.

Recently a very nice person on this forum PMed me that several members were getting together and invited me along. I would love to, and it wouldn't bother me to be the only woman with a group of guys, as long as it didn't bother them. As someone posted elsewhere on the forum, I don't want to talk or socialize, I just want to MD.

The problem is that it bothers wives, and I can definitely see their point, but, they don't want to go and they don't want their husbands to go with me!!
I'd love to meet and strike up a friendship with them too. I haven't met many people since I've moved here.

I've also had a situation on another forum where I innocently PMed a guy and he got the idea I was hitting on him!! Weird!! PMed me back to say he was happily married!!! LOL OK!!!! I just made a comment about his post that I didn't want posted on the form. I mean really innocent, benign!!!
So, for the most part I keep to myself.

OK, I've rambled, I hope I've explained myself well enough. Let me know.

Any help, suggestions, question ??????

I'd really appreciate it!!

Thanks,
Char
 
A tricky situation Char.

Ideally, you could do with another female to go detecting with.
Don't you have any clubs in your area, which have female members ?, or any female friends who perhaps you could get interested in detecting ?

Another option could be to join an amateur archaeological society (if one exists) join in with some archaeology, and perhaps offer to use your detector.
 
Thanks Alan,
So far I haven't found any clubs like that, but I keep looking.

If anyone knows of any, please pass the info on!!

I hope I didn't get too whiney!! Its just been very frustrating.

Hopefully there will be some females in this get together coming up.

Char
 
You might try Craigslist and advertise for a hunting partner in your area. You may get a few contacts through the websight......................
 
Craigslist.... don't do that. Epi had the perfect suggestion. Avoid one-on-one. Women hate other women who are more interested in their hubby's hobby than they are, haha. Sad truth. But yeah, keep your ear out for group hunts... better safe than sorry, and hope to keep the drama to a minimum.
 
Another method that may be worth a try.... go out to various good MD spots and see if you run into any other detectors... striking up a conversation with a common interest is usually easy... some may even be female. There are likely other MD'rs in your area... just cruise around in the morning/evening and see if you can find them (bring your detector with you). RickO
 
I'm a MDer, you know I look for others, don't we all!!!
I was really surprised that I haven't seen any, nor found any groups around here so far.
But, I don't think I would approach a MDer on the side of the road.

Thanks,
Char
 
Perhaps your neighbor or neighbors have a detector gathering dust in the closet. I have lived here 5 years, a city of 60000 and have never saw anyone metal detecting. There used to be a couple here on the forum, but they really didnt hunt a whole lot anymore. Don,t get discouraged, a hunting buddy will surface eventually..............
 
Beerdoodle,
Yep, the neighbors, well, on one side I've got the doper couple who spend their money on other pursuits, LOL, their phone must be cut off again because their preteen daughter keeps coming over to use the phone.

Now, on the other side is a very nice guy, in his 40s, divorced. He spends most of his time at his girlfriends house. One evening we were both out on our respective front porches watching a thunderstorm and having a smoke and he called over to me commenting about the storm. Well, his girlfriend came out the front door so fast I'm was amazed it didn't come off the hinges!!!! Major jeallousy problem there!!!
So, when I see him I say hello and keep on going, don't want to get him in any trouble!! LOL
 
aridice53 said:
Now, on the other side is a very nice guy, in his 40s, divorced. He spends most of his time at his girlfriends house. One evening we were both out on our respective front porches watching a thunderstorm and having a smoke and he called over to me commenting about the storm. Well, his girlfriend came out the front door so fast I'm was amazed it didn't come off the hinges!!!! Major jeallousy problem there!!!
So, when I see him I say hello and keep on going, don't want to get him in any trouble!! LOL
Click to expand...

:shock::shock::shock:
 
epi had the best advise.

as for me im on the other end of your dilima. im into archery both for hunting and pleasure shooting a few years ago a lady contacted me on a hunting forum and asked for my advise on a bow purchase,after that we started shooting together on weekends and also the occasional deer hunt in the fall. i was straight foward with my wife and told her that id be shooting/hunting with a lady. she was a bit uncomfortable with it at first but knows she can trust me. we keep it as a strict hobby relationship no "hangin out". its not to hard to find a person of the opposite sex to share your hobby with and if both people are really into that hobby it will over shadow the fact that you and your partner are of the opposite sex....if that makes any sense.
 
I have taken a woman metal detecting, I told my wife and she told me to have a good time.. its all about trust and we trust each other.. she asked me if it was ok to visit a friend in another state and I told her go and have a great time :)

Relic you ever do that penny thing to the other guy detecting the park? :lol:
 
Exactly!
Until last year, it never occurred to me that it would be a problem!! Just a couple of people going MDing.
Then, when I received the recent invitation, I brought up the problems, and it had never occurred to him either, til I mentioned it.
I would think MDing with someone isn't all that different from working with someone of the opposite sex.

Poll your spouses, let's see what the consensus is here on the forum.

Thanks,
Char
 
I already know my g/f wouldn't like it... she's the jealous type... or maybe just a guilty conscience?
thinking.gif
 
Marry a guy that's into metal detecting... problem solved. ;)

Seriously, I've been detecting with quite a few members on this forum sometimes even without Vlad, and the thought never crossed my mind that we were male and female... we're just detectorists. Addicted to the hobby detectorists, and when we go hunting that's what we do, we hunt.

When we're hunting no one bothers anyone else unless they hit a great find and are doing the dance, but most don't like to be interrupted while they're hunting, not even by the curious onlookers.

When Vlad and I go detecting, we might as well be detecting alone. We actually bought walkie talkies because we kept getting lost from each other. We'd buzz each other every half hour or so and say, "What's your best find?"

MD Clubs are really the best way to go to find a buddy. Or try to go to a competition hunt. I think Epi's right, running into a detectorist that will try to take advantage is more the exception than the rule. I like to believe there is a special trust and respect among all of our forum members because of the hobby.
 
Rudy said:
Wow, so cold and calculating. :lol:
Click to expand...
Calculating is being asked to get married and then told how big your tax return will be, like happened to me. My wife has an accounting degree, then she went back to school and got the para-legal degree. I might be out on the street someday once more. But then I'd be Free2Dtect again.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

HungryGhost
Restoring old cast iron cookware
Replies
4
Views
144
HungryGhost
HungryGhost
metaladdict
Lottery?
Replies
16
Views
299
markinmichigan
markinmichigan
mudwhale
Eclipse 2024!
Replies
9
Views
212
KingTotsalot
KingTotsalot
bergie
Waterfalls behind an old mill
Replies
5
Views
122
bergie
bergie
metaladdict
Coinstar...
Replies
3
Views
118
GroundSweeper
GroundSweeper
Back
Top Bottom