Myers Depot Metal Detectors

Joke time

Blueonceagain

Blueonceagain

Elite Member
Joined
Oct 3, 2009
Messages
2,744
Location
Carlisle,England
Really bored with this weather.Heres one which amused me.

Paddy was trying to complete a jigsaw puzzle and asked his friend Bill if he could he lend a hand as there was over 3000 pieces, it was very very difficult "It is sopposed to be a Tiger" he said.
Bill just sighed and said "Just put the f~~king Frosties back in the box"
 
O.K., how's this?
An old codger and his son went out for a day of hunting in the woods, and they came across a beautiful wood nymph..She wore a green, flowing dress,
had sparkling blue eyes, and shoulder-length long red hair.. An awesome sight
to behold.. She looked at the old man and the young man with a smile, and the young man asked,"Are ya game, lass?" To which she replied,"Why, yes I am." And the old man shot her...
 
A native American walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a
male buffalo with the other and says to the waiter, "Want coffee."
The waiter says, "Sure chief, coming right up." He gets the native
American a tall mug of coffee. After drinking the coffee down in one
gulp, the native American turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun,
then just walks out.

The next morning the man returns. He has his shotgun in one hand pulling
another male buffalo with the other. He walks up to the counter and says
to the waiter, "Want coffee."

The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto! We're still cleaning up your mess from
yesterday. What the heck was all that about, anyway?"

The native American smiles and proudly says, "Training for upper
management position. Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess
for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day."
 
how did the fly get in the pail of milk,,,,,,,,













he flew in one ear..............
















and out the udder
 
A man walks into a psychiatrist's office with a duck on his head.

The shrink says "How can I help you?"

The duck replies "I can't get this guy off my ass."
 
A string walks into a bar and says "bartender give me a beer". bartender says " we dont serve strings". so the string goes outside frays his end and ties himself into a knot he then goes back into the bar and says "bartender give me a beer" the bartender replies "arent you that string I just kicked out of here. the string replies " Im a frayed knot"...
 
An Itailian boys confession:


'Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
I have been with a loose girl'.

The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?'

'Yes, Father, it is.'

'And who was the girl you were with?'

'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation'.

"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later
so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?'

'I cannot say.'

'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'

'I'll never tell.'

'Was it Nina Capelli?'

'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'

'Was it Cathy Piriano?'

'My lips are sealed.'

'Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?'

'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'

The priest sighs in frustration.
'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that.
But you've sinned and have to atone.
You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months.
Now you go and behave yourself.'

Joey walks back to his pew,
and his friend Franco slides over and whispers,
'What'd you get?'

'Four months vacation and five good leads.'
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

metaladdict
Lottery?
Replies
8
Views
103
Diga
Diga
mudwhale
Eclipse 2024!
Replies
6
Views
148
TorqueMaster
TorqueMaster
bergie
Waterfalls behind an old mill
Replies
5
Views
100
bergie
bergie
metaladdict
Coinstar...
Replies
3
Views
91
GroundSweeper
GroundSweeper
HungryGhost
Earthquake!!!!
Replies
17
Views
233
KingTotsalot
KingTotsalot
Back
Top Bottom