Detector Nut
Elite Member
Hello! Is this Gordon's Pizza?
No sir, it's Google Pizza.
I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.
No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.
OK. I'd like to order a pizza.
Do you want your usual, sir?
My usual? You know me?
According to our caller ID data, the last 12 times you called you ordered
an extra-large pizza with cheese, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms on a thick crust.
OK! That’s what I want.
May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried
tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten free thin crust?
No you may not! I don't like vegetables.
Your cholesterol needs help, sir.
How the hell do you know?
We cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records.
We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
Listen, I don't want your vegetable pizza, and I take medication for my cholesterol!
Excuse me sir, but you don't take your medication regularly. Our database indicates
that you only filled a prescription for 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drugsale Network,
four months ago.
I bought the rest at another drugstore.
Not according to your credit card statement.
I paid in cash.
Sir, you didn't withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
I have other sources of cash.
That doesn’t show on your last tax return, unless you bought them using an
undeclared income source, which is against the law.
WHAT THE HELL?!
I'm sorry, sir, we use such information with the sole intention of helping you.
Goodbye, I'm sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, and all this !!!!. I'm moving
to an island without internet, cable TV, cell phone service and jerks watching
and spying on me.
I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago.
No sir, it's Google Pizza.
I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.
No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.
OK. I'd like to order a pizza.
Do you want your usual, sir?
My usual? You know me?
According to our caller ID data, the last 12 times you called you ordered
an extra-large pizza with cheese, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms on a thick crust.
OK! That’s what I want.
May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried
tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten free thin crust?
No you may not! I don't like vegetables.
Your cholesterol needs help, sir.
How the hell do you know?
We cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records.
We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
Listen, I don't want your vegetable pizza, and I take medication for my cholesterol!
Excuse me sir, but you don't take your medication regularly. Our database indicates
that you only filled a prescription for 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drugsale Network,
four months ago.
I bought the rest at another drugstore.
Not according to your credit card statement.
I paid in cash.
Sir, you didn't withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
I have other sources of cash.
That doesn’t show on your last tax return, unless you bought them using an
undeclared income source, which is against the law.
WHAT THE HELL?!
I'm sorry, sir, we use such information with the sole intention of helping you.
Goodbye, I'm sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, and all this !!!!. I'm moving
to an island without internet, cable TV, cell phone service and jerks watching
and spying on me.
I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago.
Ironically, in the interest of being funny, whoever wrote this didn’t realize that if you have wheat in something it won’t be gluten free.
