How to Lose Weight Easily

My doctor once told me to run 5 miles a day.
After the first week I was 35 miles from home and hopelessly lost, so I don't do that stuff anymore.

That ain't the way I heered it, sonny!

The way I heered it, "Last spring, the doctor told grandpa to run 7 miles a day. Last week he sent us a postcard from Detroit."
 
Lost 140 pounds in 2003...............Divorced ex-wife...........

Beerdoodle, that's the punchline to the header "How to Lose 200 Pounds of Ugly Fat!"

I always loved George Jessel. His best line, I think:

Psychiatrist to patient: "What's your problem?"

Patient to psychiatrist: "Nobody likes me, you jerk."
 
That ain't the way I heered it, sonny!

The way I heered it, "Last spring, the doctor told grandpa to run 7 miles a day. Last week he sent us a postcard from Detroit."

Which reminds me of this one: "Before you get in a fight with someone, you should walk in a mile in their shoes.

That way, you've got a one-mile head start. And you've got his shoes."
 
I stay in relatively good shape have since H.S. been 200-225#'s @6'2" feel good low BP and Cholesterol. As far as dedicated exercise no God only put so many beats in our heart and breaths in our lungs I am not wasting them exercising. Now I do get exercise but it is pick up Bball and football where we act like we are teens again we hike& hunt but I havent ran just to run since the military.
 
Beerdoodle, that's the punchline to the header "How to Lose 200 Pounds of Ugly Fat!"

I always loved George Jessel. His best line, I think:

Psychiatrist to patient: "What's your problem?"

Patient to psychiatrist: "Nobody likes me, you jerk."
Guy goes into a psychic, gets his palm read and whatever. Says "Will you take a check?" Psychic says "Is it any good?" Customer says............."Well, shoudnt you know......"
 
Here is the secret nobody knows about..........................................Burn more calories than you eat.......Don't tell anyone...

Actually for soda drinkers cutting soda out is the best way. They say 1 pound is equal to 3,500 calories. So if you drink 3 sodas a day and replace that with water or Diet soda, or my favorite, un-sweet tea. You will lose a pound a week. Might not sound like much but adds up quick. That is doing everything else exactly the same. This worked for me once upon a time, but now I am back to drinking soda (not as much as before though)
 
My problem is a love of eating and having a desk job. This is the first time I've had a desk job for this long (2+ years) and the weight just piles on. Heavist I have been in my life at 29. As I posted in another thread, MD'ing was my idea on losing weight and getting in shape beacause I hate to exercise unless it's interactive. Running and biking and all that can go to hell, I don't want to do it...MD'ing is FUN and I swear I've never sweat so much in my life!!! Plus, here in Kentucky I can do it year round as the ground rarely freezes for any extended period of time. I'll be 30lbs lighter in 6 months, "weight" and see :D
 
Thank you Rodney Dangerfield....wherever you are.....



I've got to do something about my weight, I mean everytime I eat at McDonald's I sit outside and watch the sign change

Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide." He told me from now on I have to pay in advance.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous… everyone hasn't met me yet


I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.


I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
 
Rudy, you're a nut!

Or have you been breathing too many mercury fumes?

I've been called worse Dan.
the_mad_hatter.jpg
 
Although I need to gain weight, If I ever tried this drinking water thing I'd pee 3 times before I ate negating the 'water keeps you full' effect. My bladder doesn't hold water very well. This program is limited. Still if it works for someone else, that's great too.
 
I'm Serious, he's Roebuck. (His was an old joke, so is this - but how many youngsters even remember Sears and Roebuck? And whatever happened to Roebuck,anyway?)

One more thing about drinking water before a meal - the colder, the better. (Cold water burns more calories to digest).

Roebuck actually discovered metal detecting, tied a potato sack to his belt, got a canteen that held two glasses of water, moved to San Fran and the rest is history. He is still alive. At 122 years old he looks pretty good. He goes under the assumed name of Dan Hughes and shares his extensive M D knowledge freely. A true American Icon. :lol::lol::lol:
 
Although I need to gain weight, If I ever tried this drinking water thing I'd pee 3 times before I ate negating the 'water keeps you full' effect.

I know the feeling. Drinking cranberry juice can help, not too much though ;)
 
Back
Top Bottom