beerdoodle
Forum Supporter
Lost 140 pounds in 2003...............Divorced ex-wife...........
Lost 140 pounds in 2003...............Divorced ex-wife...........
My doctor once told me to run 5 miles a day.
After the first week I was 35 miles from home and hopelessly lost, so I don't do that stuff anymore.
Lost 140 pounds in 2003...............Divorced ex-wife...........
That ain't the way I heered it, sonny!
The way I heered it, "Last spring, the doctor told grandpa to run 7 miles a day. Last week he sent us a postcard from Detroit."
Guy goes into a psychic, gets his palm read and whatever. Says "Will you take a check?" Psychic says "Is it any good?" Customer says............."Well, shoudnt you know......"Beerdoodle, that's the punchline to the header "How to Lose 200 Pounds of Ugly Fat!"
I always loved George Jessel. His best line, I think:
Psychiatrist to patient: "What's your problem?"
Patient to psychiatrist: "Nobody likes me, you jerk."
Rudy, you're a nut!
Or have you been breathing too many mercury fumes?
I'm Serious, he's Roebuck. (His was an old joke, so is this - but how many youngsters even remember Sears and Roebuck? And whatever happened to Roebuck,anyway?)
One more thing about drinking water before a meal - the colder, the better. (Cold water burns more calories to digest).
Although I need to gain weight, If I ever tried this drinking water thing I'd pee 3 times before I ate negating the 'water keeps you full' effect.