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Why is so difficult to find a hunting buddy?

My attempts to find a hunting buddy in my Kentucky days were fraught with tribulation. No one shared a spirit of camaraderie. It was alway highly competitive and void of any fun. This one guy was obsessively competitive and he haphazardly covered about an acre of a park in one hour. I call him "The John Deere Man" because, hellfire and Kingdom Creation, he went so fast and angrily across the park fields with his search coil that there was no need for a 48" razor sharp lawn mower blade. He was pretty good with his digging and hole filling, though, but there was a weird anger about him and he had Charles Manson eyes and an ice cold "Judicial judgement by backwoods town citizen supremascist" mentality about him. When he drove away, I felt like I had escaped the oll-polished double bladed gallows that day.

Unfortunate for you, but this might be one of my favorite posts. I know exactly the sort of guys you are talking about.

As far as the competitive thing, or just getting in the way of each other (especially when a hot spot is found), one thing I've done with hunting buddies is play a game of "switch places". We'll flip a coin to see who gets the front yard or back yard (or whatever way of dividing things up makes sense). Every 30 minutes we show each other what we've found and switch spots. We might do that for several hours. It's fun to hunt behind somebody, and humbling when somebody hunts behind you.
 
Hunting Buddies

I can tell you why I like hunting alone. And I hunt the beach only...

Freedom, come and go as I want.



Now..
I have to go back to having a hunting partner, seems I may need one to save me if I have a issue in the water. Not that I dislike it, I just like the freedom.

That is an excellent reason for wanting to have a buddy to search with. Something can happen with the unique circumstances of water hunting.
Or backwoods Civil War relic hunting. Someone with health or physical concerns might also be hesitant to go out detecting. It is comforting to know there is someone is nearby who can quickly assist if anything happens.
 
Hunting Buddy Complications

I mostly hunt solo for a number of reasons. First of all my schedule is flexible and I enjoy the freedom to go and return as I wish.
Second I have worked very hard to establish an excellent reputation among the people of my area because I am so careful. Somebody else can easily destroy all of that work by damaging landscaping, lawns or property.
Third, I’ve noticed lots of people want to go with me but not for me to go with them. It’s because I have some excellent permissions but they have none. I used to take people fishing but they often “stole” my secret spots and destroyed the potential of them. Now I conduct all of the training and programs for my MDing club and I’ve shared many tricks and techniques for getting permissions and I’ve realized the members do not try them. So I don’t feel obligated to hand out good sites.
Selfish? Sure. But honest. Lol.

I would ask any potential TH buddy about his experience to make sure they understand the proper procedure for digging and filling in holes. Instead of giving away permissions which is very risky, you could start out at a public park and get a read on how good of a team you would make. And you certainly don't have to ride together. I would just arrange to meet up so neither feels they are stuck with the other person's preferred schedule.
 
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I just need a partner that doesn't mind asking for permission. I have a hard time with that.

I struggle with this and being even looked at while swinging. I’m invisible, or I want to be from the GP. :D
 
Trust issues

Detectorists are solitary creatures with trust issues. Raise your hand if you have ever been burned, lost a permission, or seen a good spot turn into a club hunt?

I can keep a secret....the problem is my friends can not.

Yes, Yes and Yes!

But I still keep the faith that a tried and true detecting buddy is still out there just yonder on the other side of the 300 year old Magnolia tree.
 
I have trouble trusting most of the detectorist that I know in my area. Take them to a good spot and they sneak back in alone even after agreeing not to.
 
I guess i have been lucky. I have hunted with a few folks i have met on the forums and havent (yet?) run into an idiot. Have made a couple of friends too.
 
I first started detecting back in 2007 when I bought a Tesoro Silver Umax. Then in 2008 I joined the forum and met a wonderful online forum community who shared my newfound passion for metal detecting.

I was lucky to met another person that at the time was very active in another forum and on which at the time used to live in PR. Went on multiple occasions to do metal detecting at the Beach. A great person indeed but unfortunately I've lost contact with him back in 2012 :(

After that I remember once I gave a metal detector to my uncle but I failed on trying to wake up his interest in metal detecting

So all this years 90% of the time I have been hunting alone no been able to find a hunting buddy. That's one of the reasons I took a long 6yrs break from MD.

Recently I've tried to contact some locals who I had seen FB posts about metal detecting but either the message gets ignored or if I receive a reply is either a reluctant reply or simply the person says its to busy to go MD with me.

Moving forward in time I had dust off my metal detectors and have started MD again. I have a family now and my kids still young but some day I hope that they can tell me Dad lets go Metal Detecting :D

One word will answer your question. Greed. Most detectorist are greedy. They want it all. Fortunately for me, I have hunting buddies. It's a lot more fun sharing your finds with someone when you find it on site. It's just as much fun seeing someone else's face light up when they make a stellar find. However, most don't feel the same way.
 
Been at the hobby 53 years and have hosted many a wayward digger. Most are pretty good and have even visited a few. Some from as far away as South Africa. Lucked out and have a host in the Uk who I have visited yearly. Ever get up this way...swish or a land dig. fall Best time. Nova Scotia loves company.
 
I think it's difficult because people are strange in general. I've had a few different hobbies and tried to find buddies on forums, social media, etc. It sometimes takes a few years of sifting through the odd balls to meet someone really cool. You just have to keep at it! I enjoy digging with other people. I enjoy the company and banter and the local guys here are very knowledgeable and can tell you a lot about local history.
 
I try not to let a few bad experiences stop me from hunting with other people. When I reflect back on hunting trips that I enjoyed the most, it was usually hunting with someone and sharing the experiences of the hunt, its history and what we found. Most of the sites we go to are from my research. I have more sites to hunt than I could do in my lifetime, so why not share. When we find the site location, it validates my research and that feels pretty good, too.

Finding a friend is also a nice find.
 
I have yet to find a hunt buddy and only a few times have I seen others out detecting. I the one case I helped a young girl with her parents nearby watching. She found some nice things while I gave her tips and used my detector after she went over a target to see how they compared. Nicely done too.
 
My guess would be most guys are loners by choice when it comes to detecting, and don't particularly want to share spots. Good friends/family/kids are different, but outside of that I can't think of any reasons at all why I would want someone with me detecting.
 
My guess would be most guys are loners by choice when it comes to detecting, and don't particularly want to share spots. Good friends/family/kids are different, but outside of that I can't think of any reasons at all why I would want someone with me detecting.
If you find someone that is way more experienced and can give you tips that would be a major plus.
 
My guess would be most guys are loners by choice when it comes to detecting, and don't particularly want to share spots. Good friends/family/kids are different, but outside of that I can't think of any reasons at all why I would want someone with me detecting.
Good guess. Not to seem selfish and greedy, but sharing good hunting sites is like telling everyone where the morels can be found. But I have asked friends, coworkers, and family members if they would be interested in learning detecting. NONE were interested. They're always busy with family, and coordinating a hunt would be nearly impossible...that's understandable. I'm sure that the 'nerdy' and 'eccentric' stereotyping probably had something to do with it as well.
 
My approach is to have both detectors pin pointers and shovels with me when I go somewhere and ask permission. The owner if interested gets a crash course in detecting and I help them find their own treasures.
 
In response to the thread title

I think only a small percentage of people in the hobby are active on the forums, and the vast majority of people who ever get into metal detecting do not become "hardcore," so the group of like-minded people is already pretty small. Combine that with the fact that this hobby skews towards an older demographic that is not as keen on communicating online.

I enjoy detecting by myself but I wouldn't mind having a friend in the hobby if we get along well. We would really need to be on the same "wavelength" so to speak or it is not really worth it. I have detected with others in my area a few times but nothing lasted. The first guy I met was nice and we got along, but he moved a few hours away.

Now the most recent guy I tried detecting with... We did not get along, to put it mildly. He was a lot older than me, and that is not always a problem, but in this case it was. He was a real "talker" and I found it very hard to get a word in edgewise, so the conversations were very unbalanced. After the first time we got together, he called me and told me that I upset him because he felt I was "challenging" him (his word) with my ideas and opinions--when I could even get a word in. One thing he was upset about was that I had a different opinion about the age/species of the trees in this certain park. Seriously! He also got upset when we disagreed about other trivial details like where an old house used to be located.

He told me he would rather not hear my perspective and that he would rather detect with someone who will just tell him "good find" when he finds something cool. Needless to say we are no longer talking. That experience really left a bad taste in my mouth.
 
My first detecting buddy moved to the States over twenty years ago, but of course when he comes back over to England - at the right time of the year - I'll always lend him a machine and take him out again. His 'replacement' was quite elderly, but a real character, and I was devastated when he died in 2018. Since then, more than a few have offered to 'come out with me', but I'm reluctant. Things wouldn't be the same and the deal would be a little unbalanced, due to the permissions I've done all the hard work in, narrowing down the expanses to the hot spots. I'm hoping my Grandson will take the interest that my son never which will allow the projects to continue. He'll be getting many years' worth of journals to go through and safeguard for future generations. If he doesn't, well I'll be disappointed but won't really know that much since I'll be laying the old churchyard!
 
I am fortunate to have a wife that enjoys going to the beach with me and just told me that she is looking for her own detector so we can have "friendly" competitions on our outings. I am excited about this, I just hope she is a good sport when she loses!!
 
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