ENDED Best pun wins a BARBER Quarter;Ends Friday, February 26th at 8:00 CST

matmit

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Please give me your best Homophonic (see below) pun.

My wife is a pun freak and I want to send her at least one a day for the next week.
The winner of what she deems to be the funniest (albeit unknowingly) will be awarded one Barber Quarter.
You may enter once per day until Friday, February 26th at 8:00 CST.


Homophonic Puns

Homophonic puns are created by substituting one word for a similar-sounding word.
•A good pun is its own reword.
•I bet the butcher the other day that he couldn’t reach the meat that was on the top shelf. He refused to take the bet, saying that the steaks were too high.
 
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Heard this one from one of my pun crazy students, I thought it was great. What's weird is she was a devout Christian and super straight laced. That's probably why I found comical. Enjoy:

I went to the zoo the other day, and it only had one animal. It was a Shih Tzu.
 
Pitchers and catchers report for spring training so hears my baseball pun

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me :?::rofl::goodone:
 
A man and woman wanted to run off to be married, this was a problem because the groom's favorite fruit was a cantaloupe. :laughing:
 
What cool contest, I love puns! This is going to be fun!:D

A man noted for telling puns was locked into a dark closet, and told he would not be released until he made up a pun about the situation. He immediately shouted, "Oh, pun the door!"
 
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ‘ No change yet.’
 
Oh yea matmit..not an official entry but...
 

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A man working at a sorting table for a womens under garment factory, always referred to his occupation as a diesel fitter.
 
I told a friend to take his metal detector to the beach, he asked why? I said cause it makes cents! :laughing:
 
Seven days without laughter makes one weak.


Being in politics is just like playing golf: you are trapped in one bad lie after another.



The motorist says to the cop, "Why can't I park my car here? The sign says 'Fine for Parking'!"
 
Not sure if this qualifies as a pun of just a joke...

Ques: What did the PI Unit say to the VLF Unit?

Ans: I don't discriminate!
 
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