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  #1  
Old 02-14-2018, 06:57 AM
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Detector Nut Detector Nut is offline
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Default Time To Order A Pizza...

Hello! Is this Gordon's Pizza?

No sir, it's Google Pizza.

I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.

No sir, Google bought Gordonís Pizza last month.

OK. I'd like to order a pizza.

Do you want your usual, sir?

My usual? You know me?

According to our caller ID data, the last 12 times you called you ordered
an extra-large pizza with cheese, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms on a thick crust.

OK! Thatís what I want.

May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried
tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten free thin crust?

No you may not! I don't like vegetables.

Your cholesterol needs help, sir.

How the hell do you know?

We cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records.

We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

Listen, I don't want your vegetable pizza, and I take medication for my cholesterol!

Excuse me sir, but you don't take your medication regularly. Our database indicates
that you only filled a prescription for 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drugsale Network,
four months ago.

I bought the rest at another drugstore.

Not according to your credit card statement.

I paid in cash.

Sir, you didn't withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.

I have other sources of cash.
That doesnít show on your last tax return, unless you bought them using an
undeclared income source, which is against the law.

WHAT THE HELL?!

I'm sorry, sir, we use such information with the sole intention of helping you.

Goodbye, I'm sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, and all this !!!!. I'm moving
to an island without internet, cable TV, cell phone service and jerks watching
and spying on me.

I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago.

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  #2  
Old 02-14-2018, 07:53 AM
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And thats just the half of it! Campfire Talk has been interesting regarding...bummer is, if anybody brought along their cell phone, all of that chatter is absorbed and processed as well! I dont know man...if we knew what was going on and for purposes yet unknown or undecided, I think we would...Oh fiddlesticks! I've said too much already!..

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  #3  
Old 02-14-2018, 09:06 AM
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Originally Posted by Detector Nut View post
I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago.
Well then I'll swim there!

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Old 02-14-2018, 11:46 AM
papaharley03 papaharley03 is offline
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Ironically, in the interest of being funny, whoever wrote this didnít realize that if you have wheat in something it wonít be gluten free.

But yeah, that pretty much sums up Google. I keep their products and services out of my life as much as I can.

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  #5  
Old 02-14-2018, 12:43 PM
zeemang zeemang is offline
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Soon that will be the norm.

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  #6  
Old 02-14-2018, 07:39 PM
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Originally Posted by papaharley03 View post
Ironically, in the interest of being funny, whoever wrote this didnít realize that if you have wheat in something it wonít be gluten free.

But yeah, that pretty much sums up Google. I keep their products and services out of my life as much as I can.
A long time ago I switched from normally using Google to using what they call "the world's most private search engine" -

https://www.startpage.com/

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  #7  
Old 02-14-2018, 09:55 PM
papaharley03 papaharley03 is offline
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Originally Posted by GKL View post
A long time ago I switched from normally using Google to using what they call "the world's most private search engine" -

https://www.startpage.com/
Iím a Duck Duck Go user for my default search engine. I also recently got rid of my Nest thermostat because they were bought by Google a few years ago. I was waiting on a viable alternative and found a good deal on the Ecobee at Costco.

Seems like every alternative I use eventually gets bought by Google. They are frigginí evil IMO.

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  #8  
Old 02-14-2018, 10:26 PM
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Originally Posted by papaharley03 View post
Iím a Duck Duck Go user for my default search engine. I also recently got rid of my Nest thermostat because they were bought by Google a few years ago. I was waiting on a viable alternative and found a good deal on the Ecobee at Costco.

Seems like every alternative I use eventually gets bought by Google. They are frigginí evil IMO.
I liked what I read about Startpage, if you click on "How we protect you" on their main page here is just a few of the things you'll see -

Name:  sp1.jpg
Views: 80
Size:  25.0 KB

Name:  sp.jpg
Views: 76
Size:  50.6 KB

Name:  sp2.jpg
Views: 77
Size:  85.0 KB

Name:  sp3.jpg
Views: 79
Size:  102.8 KB

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  #9  
Old 02-14-2018, 10:47 PM
papaharley03 papaharley03 is offline
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Originally Posted by GKL View post
I liked what I read about Startpage, if you click on "How we protect you" on their main page here is just a few of the things you'll see.
I like it. Will check it out, thanks. DDG doesnít save any searches either.

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  #10  
Old 02-15-2018, 12:59 AM
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Originally Posted by papaharley03 View post
I like it. Will check it out, thanks. DDG doesnít save any searches either.
Here's a free program that checks for "Adware" on your computer so you can make sure no web sites put any tracking stuff on your computer -

https://www.malwarebytes.com/adwcleaner/

I also use the free version of Malwarebytes to check for malware -

https://www.malwarebytes.com/

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  #11  
Old 02-15-2018, 02:32 AM
papaharley03 papaharley03 is offline
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Originally Posted by GKL View post
Here's a free program that checks for "Adware" on your computer so you can make sure no web sites put any tracking stuff on your computer -

https://www.malwarebytes.com/adwcleaner/

I also use the free version of Malwarebytes to check for malware -

https://www.malwarebytes.com/
I used that software on my PC. But these days, pretty much all I use is my iPad Pro with an attached keyboard.

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  #12  
Old 02-15-2018, 07:39 AM
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