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Old 02-12-2018, 02:24 PM
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Exclamation What philosophers have to say about wives



Philosopher's Comments....



When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

King David



After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin;
they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

Sasha Guitry



By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Socrates



Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Anonymous



The great question, which I have not been able to answer... is,
"What does a woman want?"

Dumas



I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Sigmund Freud



'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage.
We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week.
A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing.
She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'

Red Skelton



'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.
It's called marriage.'

Sam Kinison



'I've had bad luck with both my wives.
The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'

James Holt McGavra



Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming.
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it.
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

Patrick Murray



The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....

Nash



You know what I did before I married?
Anything I wanted to.

Anonymous



My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
Then we met.


Henny Youngman



A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Rodney Dangerfield



A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted.'
Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
'You can have mine.'

Anonymous


First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

Anonymous

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The one lesson we've learned from history is that
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Old 02-12-2018, 03:15 PM
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Met my wife at Macy's parade. She was still wearing ropes

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Old 02-12-2018, 06:02 PM
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Originally Posted by beerdoodle View post
Met my wife at Macy's parade. She was still wearing ropes
I didn't know you married Snoopy.

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The one lesson we've learned from history is that
we have not learned any of history's lessons.

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Old 02-12-2018, 06:09 PM
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Oh my goodness those are funny!

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Old 02-13-2018, 03:42 AM
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I am going to have fun with some of them..

KEN

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Old 02-13-2018, 05:11 AM
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Not an original but true: can a wife make you a millionaire? Yes if you are a billionaire!


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Old 02-13-2018, 03:05 PM
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Marriage is a great institution. How many people do you know that want to live in an institution?

They say married men live longer than single men. I don't think that's true, I think it just seems like longer.

Why do Men typically die before their wives? Because they want to.

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Old 02-13-2018, 08:04 PM
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Man is incomplete until he's married......


then he's finished

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Old 02-13-2018, 10:38 PM
Stiffwrists Stiffwrists is offline
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It was actually Rodney Dangerfield who said:

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
Then we met"

Makes me laugh every time I hear it.

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