So There Was This Detectorist... (Jokes)

Anyway, I was out detecting on a beach some few years ago when I saw this guy coming down the beach with a whole bunch of dogs. He had them leashed in a very strange way. Three rows of three dogs each with light yellow coloured dogs in a file on the right, the middle file was three brown dogs and to the left three black dogs.

This was very curious, and just as he got near, one of the right hand dogs must've found something because it started to dig in the sand. The dog unearthed a sand crab and ate it! "No, NO you stupid mutt! You're supposed to dig up COINS!!" the man yelled, angrily. Meanwhile another of the dogs was sniffing at some seaweed and still another was peeing on a plle.

I was SO curious I just had to find out what he was up to. "Say, Buddy, what are you doing out here with all these dogs?" I asked, leaning on the handle of my detector.

"Well, I'm just trying to follow my doctor's advice! He told me to get into metal detecting. He does it and he said it would help lose weight and build up my heart! HEY!" Just then two of the dogs had gotten into a fight. He separated them and got them all settled back into formation "See I have three Golden Retrievers, two Chocolate Labrador Retrievers and three Black Labrador Retrievers, all set up the way they ought to go, to find coins!"

"But this is CRAZY!" I protested "How in Tunket did your doctor think you could find metal with THOSE?" He threw up his hands, almost dropping the leashes "Well, I really don't know! Doc told me that I'd have to spend arouund a thousand bucks, and sure enough these here dogs set me back more than THAT. Plus they've eaten me out of house and home, my YARD'S a dug up mess covered in you-know-what and my house is full of FLEAS!"

"Look, Pal, I'd suggest strongly that you CALL your doctor and find out what you're doing wrong." I said "I don't think ANYONE could find coins or jewelry with these dogs!" "You gotta point!" he said and hauled out his cell phone while I held his dogs for him.

"Doc! Ya gotta tell me what I'm doing wrong! I got the metal detector setup just like you said! But I'm run off my feet, they aren't finding ANYTHING besides dead seagulls and sand crabs, they've dug up my yard and I'm going broke just feeding them! ... What? Three Goldens, three Chocolate Labradors and three Black Labradors. I walk 'em EVERY day and I got the SAME exact detector you... What? what's that?!" The guy stood there with a shocked look on his face and the phone still to his ear. "MINELABS?!! I though you said NINE Labs!!"

SageGrouse

Some good ones!

A VLF and a PI machine walk into a bar. The VLF was asked to leave. When he asked why he was told..."We don't allow discrimination in here!"

Too funny!