So... are you happy with your life?

[Lineweed]

I feel that I'm about to ask a very unfair question. Easy to ask, hard to answer

To start off, I'm a 21 years old male this year, and would have started college at 19 years old, had it not been for mandatory military service of 2 years in my country. It may had been a blessing in disguise, but I still don't exactly appreciate the 2 years of my youth lost.

I've been thinking a lot - heck I've been thinking a lot for many years regarding this. When I was young I thought a lot about stuff like that but didn't really know where to ask. Now I do.

Anyway, being on the cusp of adulthood (I'm not exactly 21 yet, but will be in a few weeks time), I thought I should really sort out myself now and not screw my life around (figuratively...) and do the right things while I'm still this age.

Since a lot of members here have already experienced quite a bit of life and am certainly wiser and smarter than I am - I wish to ask this: what are the things you have regretted doing/not doing, or am glad that you have done since you've lived?

I'm not talking about random stuff like "oh I wish I bought that house in Nevada, I wished I went to Las Vegas", I'm talking about really major things, like maybe investing, getting a good education, or perhaps even seemingly minor things that didn't seem important when you were young, but made a whole world of difference as you grew older, and you couldn't change it/make it right again. It could be anything, be it material, spiritual, psychological, whatever.

It is not my intention to remind you guys of your worst times... I just want to learn from my seniors and perhaps avoid mistakes that I would probably commit in the future had I been too arrogant to ask. I may still commit the mistakes even if I had been given the answer, but at least they will always be somewhere in my consciousness, reminding and keeping me in check... I hope.

Off the mark, I feel as if I've a lot to deal with right now already.



Financially, I took a good, long hard look at the society today, and I really cannot imagine retiring at an age of say, 50 (really optimistic here) or 60 years old, by collecting a pay check every month for my life. It just isn't possible where I live anymore.

So I thought I really need to start to invest (not just learn how to do it) right now, at this moment - thus I've been trying to find a good financial advisor to govern my investments - at this age and amount of experience I have I am certainly courting death if I try investing myself. I've heard a lot of horror stories about failed investments of those who tried to do it, or got a bad advisor to do it, thus am trying really hard to pick a good one to trust for the decades to come. Frankly speaking my parents aren't very supportive of it (lots of scam stories everywhere), but I'm adamant about this.

I've also discovered about credit unions and although local banks aren't really as "bad" as those you guys have in the US, I feel I should take a look at them - they have rather competitive loan/saving rates (most attractive is the subscription accounts, which can provide dividends of 3-5% annually), and I feel they might have better customer relations and more understanding of an individual financial situation.

Insurance is also another complicated matter - term insurance, decreasing, whole life, permanent disability, etc. its all so confusing - yet I've heard that its really important. However at this age I really cannot see the need for insurance, and yes I know everyone who is old enough to be my parent am advocating I should apply the important ones like permanent disability first, and pay a premium I am comfortable with for now.

As of this age, credit is becoming an increasingly integral part of our lives, more so for my generation - I foresee that try as I might, I'm unlikely to distance myself 100% from it - a good credit score is needed to obtain good rates for house loans, car loans, and just about every god damn loan you can think of. I've heard of stories of 20+ year olds filing for bankruptcy due to mismanagement of credit, and horror stories pertaining to all aspects of it, but I can't help but think it would be "prudent" building a credit score with a credit card soon. I am aware of the dangers and temptation of overcharging it, and try as I might, I'm likely to fail to restrain myself in the future, and am hesitant about this. Just how important is a bad/good credit score? My country doesn't use the FICO score, but the banks have their own way of computing the risk of loaning money out to an individual.

Also, as a sidenote, I've started to keep track of my monthly spending (e.g transport, food, entertainment, etc) but frankly I'm not sure how long I can last - I only started last month.



With regards to education, its another major headache that rivals the financial aspect of living today. The major I'm really interested in is Sociology - a social science, or "junk degree" as many would call it. A degree which rewards you and teaches you in direct relation to how much effort and dedication you put in. You very much enrich your own life, learning about society and its intricate workings (both the not-so-dark and dark), but really, the only people who will acknowledge your skills and expertise in it are your professors and yourself - not your prospective employers. It is very much like philosophy - it trains your thought, makes you think out of the box, understand the big picture, skills that lots of companies keep yapping that they want employees to have, but fail to recognize nor reward. Hence the reason why many of my peers go for the degree with "real value" and stable prospects, like engineering, medicine, lawyers - time-proven professions. Sometimes i don't even know if they truly like to study the subject and can envision themselves doing a related field HAPPILY, or are just in it for the monetary promise, yet I cannot blame them for their decisions - such is the pragmatic world we live in - a person who is your superior, if he cannot see your value to his operation, will deem you useless - you have no worth to the organisation, you won't be hired (I apologize for the morbidity.)

On another hand, I've actually spoken to a financial advisor a month ago, and had a very honest and insightful talk with him. I mentioned my desire to bring a few business ideas into fruition but was worried about the lack of time, and he advised me that at my age, it will be the best time to start these ideas up - if you fail, you have no commitments to haunt you (family, current work), if you succeed, people will look up to you for being successful at this age.

To do this I will have to keep myself really busy, and in a move that applies to both entrepreneurship and also prospective jobs, I think I have to go 1 step further and start networking - not depend on the college for opportunities, but to seek them out myself. I've seen a few blogs that talk about gatecrashing important parties to seek insight and talk with high flyers, and ethical issues aside, it seems very... tempting. I'll probably piss my pants before I make it in though - I'm sure public speaking is a very important skill once I enter working society, no matter where I go - and honestly, I suck at it. I've been toying with the thought of joining Toastmasters just for some oratory practice before entering university (just to get a head start) but was busy researching on metal detecting and other real-life commitments.

Therefore, education-wise, due to my 2 years mandatory "service", I really wish to compress the time I spend in college getting my degree into shorter-than-4-years so as not to lose out to my foreign peers... yet this is practically unheard of in my local universities.

Employment-wise, I really really wish to start networking, learning to public speak, and start the business ideas I had (they aren't really biggggggg ideas, just stuff like perhaps setting up a service to fix certain equipment, something pertaining to transport, another pertaining to investing) which will take up lots of time. At the same time, as much as I love my proposed degree, I am aware of the "bland career prospects" awaiting me, and am also toying with the idea of picking up a second "high-paying" degree in my 2nd year.

I'm mad ain't I.

If you read the 2 paragraphs above carefully, you will realize that I practically asking for the impossible. And I agree.



Okay that is an amazingly long rant, even for me. I feel that I've gotten a load off my chest though. If you noticed, a lot of my focus has been on the material aspects of my future... spiritual and psychological wise I didn't really touch much on, e.g. relationships etc.

I don't blame you guys if its really Too Long; Didn't Read - the main aim of this thread is to ask about things you were glad or regretted not doing/did, which I humbly ask of you now. If you have a private experience that you wish to share but not on this thread, you can PM me too. Anything is fine - heck, if you tell me that I should be a man, grab the hand of the girl I like and ask straight out that I should ask her to be my girlfriend, I'll listen.



Screw this cr*p, its 5.00am in the morning here and my head is pulsing. Life is so damn complicated. **** my life.

I feel so dumb writing all this on a MD forum.

[joee5]

Nice novel.

[Lineweed]

huh wth? you replied so quickly? o.O wow.

[Bonesquat]

Could it be Detecto???

I read a good bit of your post - I'm only 23 so can't really contribute. I'm too young to know anything. Us young folk are pretty dumb.

[Lineweed]

Originally Posted by Bonesquat

Us young folk are pretty dumb.

I agree. We dumb LOL

okay I should go sleep now, will check back when I wake up... good night guys.

[CTCurt]

Originally Posted by Bonesquat

Could it be Detecto???

I read a good bit of your post - I'm only 23 so can't really contribute. I'm too young to know anything. Us young folk are pretty dumb.

Ha Ha, CM is the first thing I thought of also. Sorry that I don't have an answer to your question? The only thing I can add is, Life is just a bunch of choices, some good, some bad. Be careful and find someone you trust to give you counsel. Why would you trust people on a MD forum for such an important topic?....Curt

[beerdoodle]

Marry a fat,ugly woman who loves to cook..............your set for life....................

[OZARKS]

Originally Posted by beerdoodle

Marry a fat,ugly woman who loves to cook..............your set for life....................

There is more truth to this than alot of guys would want to admit.

[blev]

the fact that someone your age is giving these subjects this much thought says volumes about you. hats off to you. i am 60 plus,have had a great life so far. ups and downs a plenty. the downs i have come to relize are just oppertunitys to grow and learn (problems are just oppertunitys). sounds nuts, but it is a truth. you have to feel really cold to really enjoy the warm. bottom line i would say follow your bliss. money, houses, cars, etc. are things only and are worth nothing. love, friends, family,the right mate are the real gold in life. things i would change, i would never smoke. its has killed me. wish you the very best in your path. blev

[martymco]

Originally Posted by OZARKS

There is more truth to this than alot of guys would want to admit.

and if she's blind and owns a liquor store, that helps also

[Milhaus]

I was trying not to think about how true it is.

Originally Posted by OZARKS

There is more truth to this than alot of guys would want to admit.

[SkiWhiz]

Originally Posted by beerdoodle

Marry a fat,ugly woman who loves to cook..............your set for life....................

And even better.... a rich fat,ugly woman who loves to cook.

[alumaman]

Originally Posted by beerdoodle

Marry a fat,ugly woman who loves to cook..............your set for life....................

Deaf,dumb and owns a night club, or at least a nice boat.

[RDW]

I think you should work on a career of writing, since you seem to enjoy it so much. I'm not trying to be funny about that either, I have read some of your other post. You seem to think things through well and certainly go into great depth telling it. Seriously, think about it.

Do not, I repeat ( DO NOT ) be in a hurry to get married, a bad marriage will drain the very will to live right out of you. On the other hand, in a good marriage, the world can crumble all around you and as long as you are with her, you don't care.

Stay out of debt, debt is a prison without bars.

Employment, do something you enjoy, refer to the first paragraph.

[vanstheman3]

Develop a good sense of humor, it's way more important than you think! We have very little control of what happens in our lives, we do control how we let it effect us! As mentioned, life is never ending choices, have as many options as you can! Advice givers are setting themselves up to take the blame, advice takers are looking for someone to blame! When I was your age my 30 years older father in law gave me some advice. He said to me while we were working on a car in his garage, that he was going to pass on to me me something his father told him when he was young, and he had found it to be true! He then told me,("Your only friend in this world is your wallet, and the only time it will ever let you down is when it's empty") I laughed and told him he was awfully cynical! Then it turned out he was basically right! Good Luck and Happy Hunting.....

[Hook]

Originally Posted by Bonesquat

Could it be Detecto???

I read a good bit of your post - I'm only 23 so can't really contribute. I'm too young to know anything. Us young folk are pretty dumb.

LMAO!!! (the detecto comment)
thats the exact thought that went thru my head about 4 paragraphs into that novel! haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[kireta]

BeerDoodle makes a very good point and advice not to be taken lightly. If she is fat and ugly almost all of the troubles in life are now null and void. You wont have to worry about infidelity and having that peace of mind is extremely important as you wont have to worry about being taken to the cleaners in a nasty divorce.Remember in this world people gravitate towards vanity and if your better looking than your wife the judge will surely side with you if there is divorce proceedings.Also her being able to cook trumps everything as you will be so happy eating all of her culinary delights you wont worry about her looks or even if your gainfully employed.True happiness. Pure Genius.

[beerdoodle]

Originally Posted by kireta

BeerDoodle makes a very good point and advice not to be taken lightly. If she is fat and ugly almost all of the troubles in life are now null and void. You wont have to worry about infidelity and having that peace of mind is extremely important as you wont have to worry about being taken to the cleaners in a nasty divorce.Remember in this world people gravitate towards vanity and if your better looking than your wife the judge will surely side with you if there is divorce proceedings.Also her being able to cook trumps everything as you will be so happy eating all of her culinary delights you wont worry about her looks or even if your gainfully employed.True happiness. Pure Genius.

And you can wake her at 3 in the morning...................."Wake up dammit, go cook something!" It works everytime!

[stump]

Since we can't talk about religion on this site, I can't give you the One Answer that has worked best for me. But do search for good counsel....

[Au Quest]

Basically it goes like this ....
You are given a million different paths to follow, each requiring their own set of choices to make.

Most of them will not matter ... Darn you went to this store instead of that one and now you have ended up with a green polo shirt instead of a blue one.

The part that is the real kicker is figuring out which ones are important.

For most of us it's women and children

Women
I don't believe you have to have a fat and ugly wife. I see very beautiful women with not very attractive men. If you are LOYAL,attentive and do your best to keep it fresh, most women respond very well to that and stay completely loyal.....on the other hand ...break that loyalty ....and you are
totally @$?/!d.

Children
If you decided to have children.... Only have as many as you are comfortable caring for...the men in my family have a bad track record of splitting after the second child is born.

Work
It would be great to have a job that you can't wait to get to everyday, but let's be realistic here....
Most of us have picked a job that doesn't suck and we don't mind showing up because we get a sense of satisfaction out of it and most importantly, it pays the bills. then in our down time, in between taking kids to sports practice or lessons and running all the garbage to the curb you find time to go to your man place and focus on something you really want to do.

Finances
No matter what be very careful with credit cards.... Miss a few payments and they own you. It's hard but try your best to always work in cash. If to can't pay for it.. You can't afford it ...yet. Admittedly things do come up and plastic can get you out of a jam but it is so so so easy to fall in the trap of more credit being used than money being paid in.

I could go on but I think I will leave it at that....besides I just want to go out back. Go into the garage for a few and tinker with my car and maybe throw on a headset and swing my minelab in the back yard for a few. Good luck man sometimes I think "I wish I were 21 again and starting out fresh" but most of the time I am just glad I made it through those years and I'm still on this side of the dirt.