After the triple bypass a couple of years ago , i realized there may not be a lot of later to do the things i enjoy. Time to get in shape, so I can detect enjoy my retirement doing a lot of detecting. Think you can sell the racoons on E-bay as exotic cats .
True! I caught a baby flying squirrel inside my house last year! Me and the dog were sitting there minding our own business, watching Shark Week..It was a hot July day and I had the back door open with one of those magnetic screen door thingys in the orifice...Its a new kind of screen door, the Wife bought it off of QVC...It has a split down the middle and magnets aligned that slap it shut when you walk through it...so a guy dont have to open a traditional screen door all the time! So she bought it and I installed it....
So there we are, me and PaiMei, sitting there watching Shark Week, eating Cheetos, minding our own damn business, and I hear something scritch scratching off to the side, and I look over, and heres this baby flying squirrel scampering across the kitchen tiles like an animated rodential dishrag! Flouncing along like the magic carpet from Disneys hit movie Alladin!?
Just then, PaiMei also took notice, and he HATES squirrels!...so it was one hell of a chinese firedrill from there on out! I knew I had to catch this baby squirrel before PaiMei did, or there would be blood splattered all over the carpet and walls...so up a flight of stairs and back down and then back up we all flew....One aggressor intent on murder, one potential savior, and one scared to death baby squirrel that wandered into the wrong gosh darn rec room!
I managed to be in the right place at the right time to avert a bloody disaster and made a hopping ground ball capture worthy of a Major League shortstop as the squirrel headed for the master bedroom shidder.......Then, I Let him go outside...
Those magnetic screen door thingys look like a good idea on QVC....just saying...not with wildlife around!...any old thing can go right through them like a fart through a mitten...I guess thats the purpose...
I was barefoot and had an advantage on the tiles, nude as well, so very fast and unencubered.....I snatched a glove out of the mitten basket and made the save...
In their defense, Both Pai and the Squirrel had trouble gaining a firm purchase on those slick tiles, they were born with the wrong kind of feet luckily...In fact, all of the participants in this fracas were nude...so you can properly appreciate my triumph and imagine the visuals...
(I doubt anybody else has ever caught a flying squirrel by hand while watching Shark Week in the nude, drinking beer and eating Cheetos with a murderous dog involved and three flights of stairs??)
Its like Damn! Cant a guy get a break? Just when a guy wants to relax, drink a beer or two and see some sharks, a freaking flying squirrel or something shows up? So yeah, a whole bag of Cheetos all over the carpet like a blaze orange caterpillar convention?...Just then, the Wife walks in from the Farmers Market and said "WTH is going on in here!?" I said, "Bullsharks!, and possibly a Megalodon!"....I didnt dare tell her the truth, she wouldnt have believed me anyway...plus, she really liked that magnetic screen door thingy...I didnt want her to worry...
and they were neither cute nor harmless if one got their claws on you 
